I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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