Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
