A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize