Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
