You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
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So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i drank out of a bidet.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Found the puke drawer
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
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There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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