When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
