am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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