..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
pray to the hookup gods
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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