is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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