he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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