just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
