hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
