There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
