I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
