I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Panties = found
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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