im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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