my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Just pee around me
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
