Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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