Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
