But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Sober January is a disaster.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
We left an ass print on the piano.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
