we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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