Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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