I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.