I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
of course. lets lasso hookers.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.