shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
