He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
