so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
And my parents said I crawled through the house
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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