I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
