I need help removing her.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
