she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Four minutes until I can fart!
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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