I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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