her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
