ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I think your dad took our porno
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
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