So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Can Purell be used as lube?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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