He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Randomize
