you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
