Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
