We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize