I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
