Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
