aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
