If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
