alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
