so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
