He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
