if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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