So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
