The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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