I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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