Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
