Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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