I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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