so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize