I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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