My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I want to make a zoo with you.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize