We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I have post one night stand depression
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