Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
