Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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