he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Randomize
