You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
