Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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