I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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