You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
