i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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