so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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